How do I dress to look more mature without looking stuffy? I’ve been in my 30s working in the tech industry, but I’m often mistaken for someone 20 years older than me. This may seem ideal to some people, but it can be discouraging in the workplace, where I am a director and leading a team, and in my personal life, where I look for an age-appropriate date. I am. any advice? -Kira
It is true that given society’s obsession with youth, the question of looking older does not arise often. But as you point out, given all the unspoken prejudices about age on both ends of the spectrum, looking young can be almost as big an issue as looking mature.
The issue is all those qualities associated with youth: childishness, naivety, inexperience, insecurity, distrust, etc. They are embedded in the lizard brain that shape attitudes and associations and may cause you to be taken less seriously than you should.
Although it’s a mistake to judge people’s experience based on how they look rather than what they do or say, it happens all the time. This is partly why movies like “Freaky Friday” or even “Big” are so popular: a child with an adult body is treated like an adult (and their words are treated as yogic wisdom). ), while being treated like a child in an adult- child’s body. It’s annoying and we can debate the superficiality of the situation, but it’s also the reality.
so what to do?
The answer is not to dress in the dirtiest-adult way possible. Mutton prepared this way brings to mind the opposite idea of lamb and, counter-intuitively, can make you look younger. What you want to do is trigger the subconscious association with a different set of words: not “cute” or “collegiate” but “sophisticated,” “worldly” and “in control.” It’s not about basic garment qualities like length, but about gestalt. You are using fashion to manipulate perception. Let’s just say, think of the difference between a rah-rah skirt and a pair of neatly pleated Bermuda shorts with a matching jacket.
This means paying attention to details. The more you appear to respect yourself, the more other people can respect you. And that means clothes that aren’t wrinkled or stained or have hanging threads or hems. An iron, a good set of hangers and the ability to fold clothes neatly are your friends.
This definitely means sewing. Nothing can be more transformative than a perfectly cut jacket, which is like a portable power pose, even when worn with (unripped) jeans and a T-shirt. This means tucking your shirt, because we associate an untucked shirt with an indifferent attitude. (For a while, it’s true, Silicon Valley geniuses changed everything, but I just want to say Sam Bankman-Fried.)
This means avoiding anything that requires constant fiddling or adjusting. It means leaving behind the semiology of campus — backpacks, sneakers, leggings, sweatshirts — for the semiology of work. And that means shoes that aren’t worn, worn out or otherwise show signs of neglect.
Speaking of shoes, it’s true that high heels can actually be the shoe equivalent of a convincing elevator pitch. Rumor has it that industry leaders often sit in such a way that they are looking down on the person sitting across their desk. Whenever I feel weak, I usually want to be taller. Platform boots with heels are an easy hack. The idea is to embrace polish in every sense of the word.
Your Style Questions, Answered
Each week on Open Thread, Vanessa will answer a reader’s fashion-related question, which you can send her at any time E-mail Or Twitter, The questions have been edited and condensed.